57 Comments
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Rohan P.'s avatar

It's almost always projection. Women accuse men of being controlling because that's exactly how they think, what they are.

For example, consider sex toys. The face of that industry is the dildo. Then think about the social reputation of sex toys used by men and you'll have another example of female hypocrisy.

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Alan Schmidt's avatar

"They seem to think that applying more pressure, more stigma, more shaming is finally going to bring men over to their side."

It works with other women, and many don't have the theory of mind to realize men think differently.

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TurquoiseThyme's avatar

It does bring soy boys, and predators, it’s a red flag in my book if a man loudly and proudly tells me he’s a feminist, he will usually be extremely disrespectful and authoritarian. Some of the behaviors that the right says ‘men don’t actually do that,’ a much higher percentage of the leftist men actually do.

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Sara the Editor's avatar

Everyone needs to stop saying "I don't care what adults do in their bedrooms" because it never, ever stays in the bedroom. Shame them. Be disgusted. Tell them so. Not doing so is why we're here. If they don't want shamed for what they do, the LEAST they can do is STFU about it and hide it in the back of the closet.

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Kara Stanhope's avatar

Agreed. The best we can do is recognize our own degenerate tendencies or impulses and not feed them. And stop trying to force others to validate them, mainstream them, celebrate them.

It’s like the past 30 years has been a masterclass in turning vice into virtue.

I blame Oprah Winfrey! 😉

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Dean Moriarty's avatar

Perhaps I’m being an optimist, but I think people are getting tired of women behaving badly. It’s not cute or funny any more, it’s just…gross. And like you IDGAF what people do in their own bedrooms or wherever, but SHOCK HORROR, we don’t have to tell everyone about it.

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Wolliver's avatar

This shit is just disgusting. It makes me not want to use the app. And how little value do you possess as a person, if the only things you do and the only things worth talking about involve your loins? This is supposed to be an app for literary discussions, and so many women waste it on revolting posts about queefing and masturbation. It’s the kind of thing that reminds you why medieval peasants would punish nags and gossips by making them wear a cage over their head.

It’s been said that racism exploded on the internet because so many white people got access to videos and posts of other races and didn’t like what they saw (India went from “spiritual guru nirvana country” to “the poopy rape scam country” real fast, basically as soon as Indians got mass access to the internet). Maybe giving so many women a literary voice is doing the same thing but for men.

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Achernar's avatar

It might sound controversial but, putting restraints on women might have been not that bad.

You don't see men praising gooning. And I assume most of men had their own thoughts restraining them when they are going overboard (post-nut clarity/depression).

And this might be tangential a bit but I think it fits here. I've seen some fights in my life but the most brutal was probably when a lesbian couple was going at each other. Seeing that felt completely different...unhinged in a way I didn't know was possible.

That's how I feel about these posts.

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Nate Winchester's avatar

The simple fact is we ALL need restraints. Men and women both - we are all born as little savages and it is up to parents and society to mold and shape us to overcome our lesser natures and grow into more noble humans.

To me, seems almost all the misbehaviors in the world nowadays are coming from people who are enabled or given passes by society.

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Achernar's avatar

I can get behind that.

We tried this "absolute freedom" and "do what you want" things and it's clearly not working.

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IkonoclastCop(ret'd)'s avatar

Statistically, lesbians have far higher rates of IPV than do hetero couples. Gay couples have lower rates than the other two groups.

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No Use For a Band/Name's avatar

The upside is that misandrists and other related dumbshits are mostly out-and-proud these days, so it’s easier to get them to self-identify before you make the mistake of interacting on a more profound level.

Sure, it would be better if society held them accountable for being wrong and ignorant, and it would be easier if they all wore signs that said “I Am Stupid” but these are harsh times. Gotta make the best of a bad situation.

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Alexandre's avatar

I agree with the statement, but these examples don't do the claim justice. Like the menopause face cream--I don't know anything about it, but it doesn't seem degenerate to me.

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Coco's avatar
Jul 7Edited

I completely agree. What’s wrong with having your hand on your pussy while you breath? It sounds like some odd yoga to me, nothing degenerate. Was it the use of the word ‘pussy’ perhaps?

The last thing I read about that I thought was truly degenerate were Reddit pages about cannibal porn. This is nothing compared to that

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Greg's avatar

I’ll put it this way - it wasn’t men who turned 50 Shades of Grey into a bestselling book series and profitable movie series.

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Marky Martialist's avatar

I’ve noticed with the girlfriends I’ve had that they really hate to know you jerk off. They want to be the source of all sexual pleasure in the relationship. I’ve been told men are sometimes the same way with women and will resent the toys in the dresser drawer, maybe that’s true, but I’ve never had that problem.

Sexual insecurity is a hell of a drug.

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Nate Winchester's avatar

Back when SW: The Acolyte finished, there was a an interview where Leslye Headland and the interviewer talked about... well I've just got to post it:

https://collider.com/the-acolyte-episode-8-explained-leslye-headland/

Interviewer: Also, and maybe this was my impression of it, but my first thought was, “He doesn't even give her the agency to make this choice herself because he's accepting his fate.” It just adds so much more insult to injury. You can't even let her get a satisfactory kill because you're like, “It's okay.” It's so good!

Leslye: I do think when he says, “It’s okay,” I think you're right. He is imposing on her agency at that point. But I do think, in a weird way, she needed it. She needed his acceptance. Not his approval, but his acceptance of his fate, I think, is what gives her that energy to do the final fist clench.

As I saw it so eloquently put: "Man murdered, women most affected."

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Greg's avatar

Two personal stories:

1. Years ago, late 70's, I worked closing shift at a local gas station. Part of the routine was to clean the bathrooms. We were located on a major route between the Bay area and S. Lake Tahoe, so lots of tourists. Anyway, I learned to dread cleaning the women's restroom. Men are casually messy, but women seem to intentionally make the place disgusting.

2. I've spent most of the last decade working in various healthcare facilities. I have had ZERO male coworkers in that entire time. I try to be a good coworker, and treat everyone with respect. Maybe because of that I've generally been accepted by all the women, especially once they knew I wasn't going run to HR everytime I heard something off-color. And boy, did I hear it! Whenever I went up to the nurse's station, the conversation would make your ears bleed. Crazy. But I just smiled and went on with my work. I have been sworn at by professionals (basic training in '75), So nothing offended me. But, yeah, this essay rings true.

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blank's avatar

Women are degenerating and that isn't good. But the solution is not going to involve MRA style whining about double standards. The world and the west need less victims and cries of 'that isn't fair'.

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IkonoclastCop(ret'd)'s avatar

I honestly don't think that there's a ton of actual whining going on. Certainly nothing on the order of your average feminist. That being said, I think men have sort of been quiet quitting (I hate using that term, but it seems applicable here) on relationships for a long time, and people are only just starting to notice.

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blank's avatar

I'm referring to the whining in the article itself, for one

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Cliff's avatar

"we are giving you the space to realize how much of a piece of shit you are for being a man”

This is a rough but acceptable summary of my last relationship.

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Anonymous Dude's avatar

I agree, though I am somewhat unusual here in that I would rather just have the women stop complaining. I don't have a problem with them reading dirty novels or masturbating. You can have your smut. Let us have ours. You can keep Fifty Shades of a Court of Roses and Kushiel's Darts. Let us have boobs in video games and movies.

Oh, and a tradpub contract for Delicious Tacos. Worst Boyfriend Ever may be a bridge too far, I agree.

And my fantasy epic about a dashing young sorcerer in a romantic triad with his two bi girlfriends, an amazon and a thief, saving the realm from the Dark Lord. You hear me, Penguin? You published Iron Widow!

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