I went to a top ranked finance undergrad, and in my final semester I had an interview with a top consulting firm. In the middle of it, I literally ran out in a panic. It was obviously humiliating, and I didn't understand why I did it. Looking back, I was clearly losing my mind at the prospect of slotting myself into the finance/consultant crowd. I could get straight As, but I couldn't for a second imagine myself working 80 hours a week with Darrens.
Coincidentally, I graduated May 2020, so I imagine that my career trajectory would have been fucked either way. Have been making my way in the years since, recently had another interview for a top-flight banking job...and literally hung up the call, again closing the door on the interview.
Rather than coping and fretting like I had the first time ("how could I throw away such an opportunity !!!"), I had to be real with myself. Some part of my subconscious was just refusing to contort itself in pursuit of prestige and money, as much as I thought I "wanted" it.
You can listen to your gut, or you can endure the pain of trying to be something you're not. Don't bitch and complain about it either way. My current position is not prestigious, but it pays the bills, and I'm working on my own stuff. Trite as it sounds, I wouldn't trade my current station in life to be a Goldman MD.
It’s not necessarily operating from that assumption, but rather the idea that these contemporary feminist Substack bloggers are more interested in conveying their preconceived notions rather than actually engaging with the ideas of the books that they supposedly champion.
As an analogy, a lot of the Ayn Rand libertarian types don’t really read the books thoroughly, and are nothing more than 20 year-old edge Lords; but pointing this out isn’t necessarily endorsing Ayn Rand’s world of view if that makes sense.
I ask only because you said “diluted the message of the movement” and I’ve recently realized (and I have read the foundational texts for the most part) that it was only a movement in the first wave. The later waves were highly focused on the symbolic, and the symbolic turn meant that it never had demands for anyone other than managerial class women in the first place. Even the first wave was all wealthy women. So I guess now I land on it never having been legitimate at all as a movement for bettering conditions for all women, rather than just rich women.
Valid point; I suppose I should’ve clarified it in the sense that these books perhaps created a baseline foundation for a coherent ideology. Like maybe they got about 30 or 40% of the way there, and it was on subsequent people to actually build on that. But as we can see that clearly didn’t happen
On balance, I mostly think it was a good idea to let women have bank accounts in their own name and own real property. Although it was championed by wealthy women, first-wave feminism helped a lot of working-class *children* have less traumatic lives than they would otherwise have done.
Oh, you mean second-wave and third-wave feminism? Those were about entrenching upper-middle-class privilege, and destroying core social structures like the family. Not such good ideas; harmful to children.
Cool post Rohan. I’d suggest that just like the post from the essential Librarian that you referenced—perhaps you’ve done the same with your headline. There’s meaty stuff in there about approval, intention, and authenticity (fucking gross word 🤮) but I had to read past the headline to get to it.
God damn this was based. There’s some irony about people who promote authenticity and their followers believing everything they say to a T. Some Life of Brian stuff going. I’ve binged read many of your posts man. Keep up the great work! ✌️
Draw a Venn diagram. Make a circle for salespeople, at least successful ones. Write "toxic narcissists" in the same circle. You've achieved transcendence. There is perfect overlap.
How I know this - I was an award winning CRM for various consulting salespeople at the world's largest software company after spending my whole youth tending to an 'entrepreneur' in the house. I'm a codependent. It's a useful skill for dealing with these toxic types. I quit because it was unhealthy to be around them. I came out with a padded 401k.
I went to a top ranked finance undergrad, and in my final semester I had an interview with a top consulting firm. In the middle of it, I literally ran out in a panic. It was obviously humiliating, and I didn't understand why I did it. Looking back, I was clearly losing my mind at the prospect of slotting myself into the finance/consultant crowd. I could get straight As, but I couldn't for a second imagine myself working 80 hours a week with Darrens.
Coincidentally, I graduated May 2020, so I imagine that my career trajectory would have been fucked either way. Have been making my way in the years since, recently had another interview for a top-flight banking job...and literally hung up the call, again closing the door on the interview.
Rather than coping and fretting like I had the first time ("how could I throw away such an opportunity !!!"), I had to be real with myself. Some part of my subconscious was just refusing to contort itself in pursuit of prestige and money, as much as I thought I "wanted" it.
You can listen to your gut, or you can endure the pain of trying to be something you're not. Don't bitch and complain about it either way. My current position is not prestigious, but it pays the bills, and I'm working on my own stuff. Trite as it sounds, I wouldn't trade my current station in life to be a Goldman MD.
Thank you for sharing, glad to hear your story and it sounds like you’re doing OK despite everything — great stuff
I have a question for you - why operate from the assumption that feminism ever had a positive message in the first place?
It’s not necessarily operating from that assumption, but rather the idea that these contemporary feminist Substack bloggers are more interested in conveying their preconceived notions rather than actually engaging with the ideas of the books that they supposedly champion.
As an analogy, a lot of the Ayn Rand libertarian types don’t really read the books thoroughly, and are nothing more than 20 year-old edge Lords; but pointing this out isn’t necessarily endorsing Ayn Rand’s world of view if that makes sense.
I ask only because you said “diluted the message of the movement” and I’ve recently realized (and I have read the foundational texts for the most part) that it was only a movement in the first wave. The later waves were highly focused on the symbolic, and the symbolic turn meant that it never had demands for anyone other than managerial class women in the first place. Even the first wave was all wealthy women. So I guess now I land on it never having been legitimate at all as a movement for bettering conditions for all women, rather than just rich women.
Valid point; I suppose I should’ve clarified it in the sense that these books perhaps created a baseline foundation for a coherent ideology. Like maybe they got about 30 or 40% of the way there, and it was on subsequent people to actually build on that. But as we can see that clearly didn’t happen
Not picking on you, just hyper aware of the language
On balance, I mostly think it was a good idea to let women have bank accounts in their own name and own real property. Although it was championed by wealthy women, first-wave feminism helped a lot of working-class *children* have less traumatic lives than they would otherwise have done.
Oh, you mean second-wave and third-wave feminism? Those were about entrenching upper-middle-class privilege, and destroying core social structures like the family. Not such good ideas; harmful to children.
Beautiful, just beauuuuuutiful!
Cool post Rohan. I’d suggest that just like the post from the essential Librarian that you referenced—perhaps you’ve done the same with your headline. There’s meaty stuff in there about approval, intention, and authenticity (fucking gross word 🤮) but I had to read past the headline to get to it.
Cheers.
God damn this was based. There’s some irony about people who promote authenticity and their followers believing everything they say to a T. Some Life of Brian stuff going. I’ve binged read many of your posts man. Keep up the great work! ✌️
Cheers, thank you so much for reading
Draw a Venn diagram. Make a circle for salespeople, at least successful ones. Write "toxic narcissists" in the same circle. You've achieved transcendence. There is perfect overlap.
How I know this - I was an award winning CRM for various consulting salespeople at the world's largest software company after spending my whole youth tending to an 'entrepreneur' in the house. I'm a codependent. It's a useful skill for dealing with these toxic types. I quit because it was unhealthy to be around them. I came out with a padded 401k.
Well said and that’s the true meaning of “going your own way”.
Like the word brackish
You are confusing TRP with the Manosphere